Why did the Accountant Murder the Bookkeeper?
Can YOU solve this murder mystery whodunit?
It was a cold and blustery night; the kind of night that some might call ominous, but those of us who live in southern Ontario, call “Tuesday”.
The call came in. “There’s been a murder,” they told the lead detective. “Get to the scene of the crime.” The detective sighed morosely and set aside his Lean Cuisine. “Another one,” he muttered.
He arrived at the grisly setting. The bookkeeper was dead as a doornail, slumped over her laptop, covered in loose papers and post-its. A group of frightened coworkers lurked nearby.
The cop securing the scene asked the detective, “Well, what do you think? Who could have done it?”
The detective took a quick look at the evidence and scoffed. “The motive is clear”, he said, pointing at the pool of papers and the bookkeeper’s laptop.
“It is?” replied by cop, amazed. “How do you figure?”
The detective, a former CPA who did a stint as a CRA auditor, replied, “She’s been posting net payroll cheques to a payroll liability account. Not making an entry for an HST return in the books! Also, she’s been recording foreign currency transactions without using an exchange rate, not to mention posting monthly credit card payments without posting the individual credit card charges!”
“Uh-huh,” replied the cop, perplexed. “So?”
“So,” the detective maintained, “That’s pretty incompetent for a bookkeeper. A true professional would never make such errors!” He stroked his jaw, thoughtfully. “This level of malfeasance couldn’t have come from just anybody. Someone is trying to cover their tracks.” He surveyed the room, with a suspicious eye.
“YOU!” the detective thundered, pointing at a quaking accountant who was standing with the crowd of her coworkers.
“ME?” squeaked the accountant. “Yes, YOU,” answered the detective, grimly. “Who else could have created this kind of mess? The kind of mess that could only be solved by MURDER.”
The cop gawked. “That’s kind of a crazy escalation, there,” he grumbled.
The detective ignored him. “You supplied that information to the bookkeeper! The bookkeeper figured out something was off and you killed her!”
“This is really unprofessional,” the cop groused, “I’m fairly certain we’re breaking about a dozen laws here.” But he was ignored.
“N…n…no!” the accountant stammered, “I didn’t create those files! Those numbers didn’t come from me!”
“Then who?” the detective pressed.
“It was the client,” the accountant cried, surprising exactly 0% of our readers who are accountants or bookkeepers.
“The client sent over a shoebox full of papers and receipts! They sent over badly scanned invoices and copies of cheques!” The accountant broke down sobbing. “It was like they were trying to make me look bad! I tried my best to make it work! But they never return my caaaaaalls,” she wailed. “It was the only way to get my returns done on time by the deadline!”
“I don’t get it,” the cop complained, not understanding that he was a character in a story meant to make accountants laugh.
“Case closed,” the detective smugly replied.